


A Lesson in Humanity (2010)

by JennyB



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Anal Sex, Biting, Bondage, Community: yuletide_smut, First Time, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-23
Updated: 2010-12-23
Packaged: 2018-07-11 04:44:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7029136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyB/pseuds/JennyB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, even the smartest person you know can stand to learn a thing or two!</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lesson in Humanity (2010)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [genkisakka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/genkisakka/gifts).



> This was written for the 2010 Yuletide Smut challenge, a Saiyuki-themed writing community on Dreamwidth.
> 
> This was my first time seriously attempting this pairing, and it was a fun and challenging prompt to write.
> 
> For those who might be worried, the dubcon is slight - one of those _blink and you might miss it_ things. Enjoy! ♥

He swallowed thickly as gold held the mismatched green and gold. The look he received was more intense than one normally saw on the pretty face, and was tempered with none of the typical patience and relative good humour that was often present. The slight downturn of lips suggested that he was just as likely to be gutted as anything else for being there, and yet he couldn't turn away. Instead, he simply stared foolishly back at the other like some misguided contender for the alpha position. He saw the upper lip pull back slightly in the beginnings of a sneer to expose an elongated canine, and in response, his tongue darted quickly across his own suddenly dry ones. "W-what -"

He never did get the chance to ask his question, for the next thing he knew, everything became a dizzying blur of feathery vines and smooth skin and hard muscle, and oh gods why did his heart feel like it was going to explode if it didn't stop? Suddenly, Goku's eyes snapped open, the last vestiges of his desperate gasp evaporating into the darkness as he climaxed. It took him half a second to realize that, yes, he did have his fist wrapped around his softening cock, and the dampness he felt on his stomach was the rapidly cooling evidence of his latest orgasm. "Shit." He spoke the somewhat pained groan to the night, only to freeze, his eyes going impossibly wide in the darkness as he remembered who he was currently rooming with.

"Shut the fuck up, stupid monkey," came the gruffly mumbled response from the other bed, and Goku bit back his desire to tell the pervy kappa to get bent. The _last_ thing he wanted was for Gojyo to wake up completely and discover him hot and sweaty and covered in come. For one thing, the water sprite would want details, and would likely be relentless in his prodding for information. That would be a Very Bad Thing, indeed - especially if Gojyo shot off his big, fat hanyou mouth and Sanzo, or gods forbid, Hakkai, caught wind of it before he was ready to talk about it. With a heavy sigh, he sagged back against his pillow and stared blankly up at the ceiling. He finally understood what Hakkai had meant when he'd said that _discretion is the better part of valour_. A wry smile briefly turned his mouth upward as he thought about the taijiya, and then his expression fell as he ran a hand through the wild tangle of cinnamon locks. _Hakkai_. There was the crux of his problem. Ever since he and the healer had fought each other in their true forms, he'd found that he couldn't get the other demon out of his mind. His thoughts had slowly migrated from occasional curious musings to mortifyingly frequent erotic fantasizing, and as a result, this was the fourth time in a week that he'd woken up in a sticky mess. He thanked the goddess that he'd miraculously managed not to have gotten any on his boxers or on the blankets - Hakkai was fastidious when it came to noticing things that were out of place, particularly when it came to anything that was unexpectedly dirty.

As quietly as he could so as not to wake Gojyo, he slipped out of bed and headed for the bathroom to wash up and get dressed. He knew it was still an hour or two until the others would even think of waking, and breakfast would be a while after that, but he just couldn't stay there any longer and risk being discovered. For several long minutes, he stood under the spray and let the water just sluice over him. Eventually, he let his hands start to slowly wander, all the while imagining that it was the green-eyed brunet touching him. That same half grin returned - he knew he was pathetic, and he had it bad. As his soapy hands slid between his legs, he realized that it didn't help his cause much that Hakkai was not only incredibly pretty, but he was probably the one person who was always so nice to him. Well, maybe not when he was in his youkai form. He'd seen Hakkai in that form once before, and even then he had found him to be both beautiful and terrifying at the same time. But now, after having had those hands on him and seeing the taijiya for who he truly was, Goku found that he was that much more interested in getting to know him better. Perhaps not the violent, aggressive part, but the baser, more primal part where the healer _didn't_ hold back and allowed himself to feel and to do what _he_ wanted and not what others wanted him to do. Goku found the idea of bringing _that_ out - of being the one Hakkai _desired_ extremely attractive and beyond arousing. Sure, Sanzo had cared for him (somewhat grudgingly, at times!), but he found himself longing for someone who truly _wanted_ to take care of him. Not in a custodial capacity, but someone who wanted to be _with_ him. And he knew he was more than capable of giving the same in return.

As his soapy hand worked the length of his now-rigid cock, he thought about all of the things he had learned under Hakkai's patient tutelage. A slow smirk curved his lips upward then and turned momentarily lewd as he wondered just what _other_ sorts of things his oft-times sensei could teach him. Things like he'd seen in some of Gojyo's magazines, perhaps? He'd stealthily peeked at them when he'd had to room with the water sprite and the perv had been in the shower. Thoughts of doing some of the things he'd seen to Hakkai sent a quick thrum through his body, and having to brace his free hand against the wall, he bit his lip to hold back the groan as he came for the second time that morning, dark imaginings of the sorts of sounds the healer would make under his touches prolonging his orgasm. He waited until both his breathing and heart rate had returned to normal, and then with a contented sigh, he turned his attention to actually cleaning himself up.

By the time he dressed and wandered into the common area of their suite, he found that Hakkai was already awake and out of bed. Silently sliding into a place at the table, his golden eyes turned to the healer as he watched the other putter about in the small kitchenette. He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised by that; after all, Hakkai was often up before all of them. In fact, Goku figured he could probably count on one hand the number of times he'd risen before the green-eyed youkai. "Mornin' H'kai," he mumbled around a yawn, and then he gave the other one of his customary sunny grins.

Though he, too, had momentarily looked surprised to see Goku vertical at such an early hour, Hakkai gave his younger friend a warm, genuine smile in return, and then set a meat bun and a bowl of cold soba noodles in front of him. "Good morning, Goku. I'm sure you're a bit hungry now. Perhaps this will do until the others wake and I can cook a proper breakfast?"

The wattage increased tenfold on Goku's smile when he saw the treat he'd been presented with. Again, he thought about the healer, and how Hakkai was always thinking of him. He knew he'd never get such consideration from Gojyo or Sanzo - not without some silent prodding from the green-eyed demon. That thought warmed him slightly, and when he felt his cheeks start to heat, he nodded enthusiastically, hoping to diffuse it a little. "It looks great. Thanks a lot, Hakkai," he replied before tucking in, knowing that the brunet appreciated the use of manners. "What're you making today?" he asked after a couple of bites of noodles. It was Saturday, which meant that they were allowed to sleep in a little longer and Hakkai usually cooked some wonderful breakfast in which some sort of homemade pastry would oftentimes make an appearance.

"Well, since we're staying in town for another day or two, I thought I'd make breakfast crepes, since I bought some fresh eggs at the market. And maybe sweet and savoury _zongzhi_ \- red bean paste, and the pork and water chestnut ones." Hakkai glanced over at Goku, and a hint of a smirk curved his lips upward. "And just because I know you particularly enjoy them, maybe some deep fried devils." He chuckled a little then; the brunet quite liked the fried crullers, too, but would never make them just for himself.

Goku loudly slurped up a mouthful of noodles, gave a cursory chew, swallowed, and then said, "Awesome. You're the best, Hakkai." When the healer glanced over at him, this time looking genuinely surprised by the unexpected compliment, he was glad he'd had the foresight to break the meat bun in half rather than try to cram it all into his mouth as was his norm. A bit of decorum had prevented him from getting Hakkai's patented Disapproving Brow Arch of Disappointment - an expression he hated to be on the receiving end of. "I'm serious!" he exclaimed around the half-eaten bite. "You're always doing nice things like that for m-us!"

The continued praise was enough to stave off The Look, and instead Hakkai gave a soft snort of amusement before reaching up a hand to nudge his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. "Thank you, Goku." If the younger had looked closely then, he'd have noticed the tiny flush of pink on Hakkai's cheeks.

* * *

Breakfast was long over. Sanzo had retreated to his room once more, citing his need for some 'me time', while Gojyo had left for the bars to see what he could source for himself in the way of companionship. As he had put it, if they were staying over another night, he sure as hell wasn't spending it in the company of a stupid monkey if he could help it. So Hakkai had taken the rare opportunity presented to work with Goku to further his studies. He was secretly glad that the younger demon was such an eager student - teaching Goku filled a small void within him, and Hakkai found that he didn't miss his old life really all that much anymore. Granted, Goku wasn't the most gifted student he'd ever had, but he did have to admit that he was certainly one of the most avid, and the younger male tried his damnedest to absorb everything. Hakkai glanced up from the textbook he was going over with the other, and not for the first time, he lost his place when he met the soft, golden eyes. He cleared his throat, and as a nervous smile slid into place, he remarked, "You're unusually attentive today."

"I'm just interested, is all." Goku secretly liked having Hakkai all to himself like that, and today he was rather entranced by the way the healer's lips moved when he talked.

"Ah. I see." He smiled a little at that, knowing that Goku really couldn't be anything but sincere. He attempted to resume his lesson, but it wasn't long before he'd again lost his place. The smile Goku was giving him bordered on adoring, and while it unnerved him to see such an unexpected expression on the other's face, he couldn't ignore the way it also warmed him. The last person who had ever looked at him like that had been - "Uh, haha, why don't we take a bit of a break?" he asked as he ran a hand through his dark fringe of bangs. Gods knew he needed a minute or two to regroup, too!

Goku cast a quick glance to the clock in the kitchenette. "Can we go for lunch? I know a place that makes great barbecue pork - well, I've never been, but I heard the innkeeper talking about it last night. It's your favourite, right? It's my treat."

"I -" Hakkai paused, and then frowned, obviously confused by the invitation. "Goku, how would you even have any money? Sanzo pays all of your expenses, and I'm fairly certain that he doesn't give you any sort of allowance."

"He doesn't. I took it from Gojyo's wallet when he was in the shower."

An elegant brow arched in that disapproving way. "Goku, that's not right. Regardless of how many people he may have cheated at cards to get it, Gojyo earned that money. Sort of."

"No he didn't. He got it by selling a bottle of that fancy wine you've got."

Hakkai's mouth curved down into a frown as his eyes narrowed slightly, and then that eerie, plastic smile settled on his face as a flicker of darkness flashed across the green. "You know, lunch sounds lovely. I'll get my coat." The smile widened slightly. Hakkai was annoyed; that much was obvious. The brunet was fairly tolerant and tried to keep a good sense of humour when it came to the others and what happened to his things, but it was _never_ a good idea to come between the taijiya and his sake. Daiginjo was getting _extremely_ difficult to come by the further west they travelled, and Hakkai silently vowed that he would _so_ pay the hanyou back later. Preferably slowly and painfully.

The walk to the restaurant hadn't managed to diffuse Hakkai's anger, and the green-eyed man silently questioned whether or not he'd even enjoy Goku's treat given his current state of mind. As it turned out, the restaurant _was_ very good, and the quality of the meal had done wonders to temper his current ire with the kappa. The pork was beyond succulent, and Hakkai was enjoying his with some fried noodles and crispy stir-fried vegetables. Goku, on the other hand, was a bit lost in his thoughts, and was only on his third helping by the time Hakkai had set down his chopsticks and started on his tea. The brunet frowned slightly as he watched his younger friend, somewhat concerned to note that Goku wasn't inhaling his lunch with his usual gusto. "Goku? Are you feeling alright?"

"Huh?" The cinnamon-haired male could have kicked himself for tipping Hakkai off. Then again, he supposed he shouldn't have been surprised; the taijiya was incredibly observant. And didn't _that_ thought send another wave of heat through his increasingly traitorous body! He gave the other a winsome smile and nodded his head. "Yeah, I feel pretty good, Hakkai. I'm just...I'm _savouring_ it." It wasn't a complete lie - after all, if it took him longer to eat, he'd simply get to spend that much more time with the healer. He knew that Hakkai, unlike Sanzo or Gojyo, wouldn't be so ignorant as to get up and leave the table before everyone was finished.

"I see." Hakkai smiled warmly at him as he picked up his tea. "Well then, please don't let me stop you from enjoying every morsel. Thank you again for the invitation. It's been a lovely meal."

Goku positively beamed at the other, his eyes hooding slightly as he watched his friend take a sip from the cup, noting the way the slender throat moved when Hakkai swallowed. He licked his lips a little, and then dropped his gaze to his plate, again thinking about the healer. As he chewed a piece of pork, he found himself wondering if Hakkai ever had thoughts like him...or about him. Swallowing his bite, he pressed his lips together into a thin line. _Only one way to find out..._ "Ne, Hakkai?"

"Hmm?"

Goku trailed his chopsticks through a bit of sauce on his plate, not daring to look at the other man lest he lose his nerve. "I was just wondering something. I mean, I know you were married to a lady, but have you ever, uhm...you know, thought that way about guys?"

Hakkai paled slightly, his cup frozen in place partway to his lips. Had he let his control slip at some point to where Goku had noticed something? He managed to shake himself from his surprised stupor and set the vessel back down, glancing over at his dining companion a moment later. From the serious expression on Goku's face and the steadfast way he was avoiding looking at him, Hakkai figured that there was indeed some reason behind the question. Furthermore, the timing couldn't have been worse, in his opinion. He was essentially trapped there in the restaurant, and there was no way to avoid answering - unlike at home where he could brush Goku off to complete various chores until the other demon had forgotten. Obviously, Hakkai had erred in his assumption that Goku didn't pay attention, and he couldn't help but be grudgingly impressed by the younger's deviousness. He shifted his gaze to meet Goku's eyes - the other male had since lifted his head and he could see the near-anxiousness in the golden depths - and he decided that the best way to answer would be with a broad, generalized reply. "Well, I suppose that sometimes I do..." He trailed off into a hesitant laugh, and ran a hand through his dark fringe.

A huge grin spread across Goku's face. "Yeah?" He held back the urge to let out a sigh of relief on hearing that. "Gojyo told me once that the container shouldn't matter; that it was what was inside that counted." He frowned a little then. "Though he did say he had no interest in going to a sausage party."

Hakkai mentally facepalmed; he could only imagine what other jewels of wisdom the redhead had imparted on Goku. "That's good advice, Goku. The first part anyway." When the cinnamon-haired male seemed inordinately pleased by his reply, he continued to smile at the younger male, silently hoping that the question had stemmed simply from curiosity and not from anything he had done. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't noticed how much Goku had grown up in the past year, and he found it mortifying that he'd even had such licentious thoughts about his friend in the first place. Still, he thought wryly, desiring the forbidden seemed to be something he gravitated towards. Hakkai inwardly relaxed when Goku let the subject drop and turned his attention to his plate with renewed vigour, and thinking that was the end of such conversation, he sat back in his chair with his tea to enjoy the rest of his meal.

* * *

That evening, Hakkai was sitting quietly in his room and reading. Or rather, he was trying to, but he was having a hell of a time concentrating. Something felt _off_ to him which made the small hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and left him feeling twitchy. When he realized he'd been trying to read the same paragraph for about twenty minutes, he closed the book and padded out into the common area, hoping he might be able to localize the reason for his current anxiety. When he entered the salon, he looked around, and saw only Goku there, the younger male curled up in an armchair and reading through one of his myriad manga. "Ne, Goku? Where is everyone else?" he asked.

Golden eyes, unusually dark and serious, peered over the top of the book. "The pervy kappa's out for the night; he came back about fifteen minutes ago to get his bag. Sanzo got called to the temple, then said he'd be at the bar when he was done." He shrugged a bit. "So it's just me and you. And Hakuryuu - but he's sleeping." He nodded towards the radiator and the bundle of white curled up on a pillow in front of it.

Hakkai nodded, and turned to head back to his room, though he paused a moment later. "Don't stay up too late, Goku. You know Sanzo will want to get an early start tomorrow, regardless as to how much he has to drink tonight."

"I won't. I'll probably go to my room in a few minutes."

Hakkai nodded again. "Alright. Good night then, Goku."

"Mmhmm."

Hakkai returned to his room and changed for bed. He wasn't feeling any less anxious, but at least he knew the whereabouts of his companions. He'd just picked up his book to attempt reading once more when he heard a knock at his door. Answering it, he arched a brow when he saw Goku standing there. "Is something wrong, Goku?"

The younger male chewed his lip slightly, and then said, "Can you come take a look at something?"

The brow went higher, and Hakkai hesitated. Something _felt_ off about the whole situation, and yet when he looked into the earnest golden eyes, he found himself unable to refuse. Goku had never given him any reason to be mistrustful. He sighed silently and mentally chastised himself for his irrational paranoia. "Of course."

Goku turned and headed down the corridor towards his room, and with his back to the healer, Hakkai would not have seen the small, mischievous smile. "It's in my room," he said, trying to keep the anticipation from his voice. He stopped outside the closed door, and waited for the pretty brunet, letting him lead.

Hakkai stopped outside the second bedroom and cocked his head to the side a little, the frown returning. He could sense _something_ on the other side, and whatever it was, it was what had been making him feel ill at ease all evening. "Goku, what is that?" he asked, and when he saw the small shrug, the furrow between his brows deepened. Goku was a terrible liar. "Goku..."

"Just, please?" Goku murmured, his voice a near whisper. "It's...important." That much was true. He'd been scheming since they'd returned from lunch, and all he needed for his plan to work was a little cooperation from the taijiya.

Hakkai rested the tip of his tongue against one of his upper canines as he studied the other male contemplatively. When Goku's body language gave no further indication as to what was going on, he sighed audibly, and mentally chastising himself for being an idiot by condoning the stupidity, he opened the door and stepped into the darkness. While he searched for the light switch against the wall, he heard Goku enter the room behind him and close the door. Just as he flicked the light on, he heard the click of the lock. Turning to face the other, he was surprised to see that same, serious darkness in the golden depths. "Goku?" He could feel his heart rate quicken, and he swallowed thickly as the other took a step towards him. Mentally, he started to collect his chi - he didn't want to, but if he had to, he would use it.

The cinnamon-haired male smiled a little, and a moment later, he grasped Hakkai's wrists in his iron grip, holding them down against the healer's thighs, as though he had anticipated what the other was thinking. "I'm sorry, Hakkai. But I think this is for your own good. Both our good." He felt Hakkai try to free himself, but Goku _was_ the stronger of the two youkai, and the brunet wasn't going anywhere. Keeping a firm grip on his friend, he backed him towards his bed, and when the taijiya hit the edge and was knocked momentarily off balance, Goku quickly moved to secure Hakkai's wrists in the manacles he'd hidden among the untidy mess of pillows and extra blankets. "They're kind of like youkai limiters, but not quite," he said as he sat back a bit, his gaze moving over the slender form. "You can't break them, not like you are anyway, and you can't use your chi. I don't think you can, anyway." A small smile briefly curled his lips upward when he saw the other try and fail.

"Goku, please let me go," Hakkai demanded as he rattled the chains, his eyes falling closed a moment later, only to snap open again when he felt gentle fingers touch his cheek. "I-I'm serious," he whispered, a slight hitch to his breathing as he felt the residual warmth lingering against his skin and his body reacting to the affectionate contact.

"No," Goku replied, his voice just as quiet, and then he leaned forward to brush a feather-light kiss to a pale cheek, his lips trembling slightly as he did so. "You're not being serious." He smiled when Hakkai started to protest. "You're not," he reiterated as he put a finger over the brunet's lips. "I can smell that you're not." He lightly ran his hand down Hakkai's pyjama-clad chest, stopping at his waistband and nodding toward the slightly tented material. "It's ok, you know. For you to like me. I'm not a little kid anymore." He turned his attention to undoing the buttons on the healer's shirt, and his eyes lidded slightly when he heard the soft intake of breath as his fingertips skimmed over the pale skin. "I'm glad. I like you, too. A lot." He grinned again when he brushed against the rougher, raised flesh of Hakkai's scar and was rewarded with a sharper gasp.

Hakkai bit back the urge to laugh hysterically. Goku had so completely and so expertly outed him, and he'd not seen it coming at all. But even though the warm, exploring fingers left enticing trails of heat in their wake, all he could think about in that moment was Sanzo, and just what the priest would say to him when he heard about this - assuming he didn't kill him first. "But Sanzo wouldn't -"

"Sanzo doesn't own me, Hakkai," Goku interrupted, and for several seconds, he looked into the viridian eyes, hoping that he could figure out some way to reassure the brunet. "I know he acts that way sometimes, but he doesn't really believe it. I'm my own person. Like you." He shrugged a little, continuing with his soft caresses. "I don't know everything, Hakkai, but I know he doesn't own you, either. He wouldn't want to; it's not why he does things. I mean, he _says_ things that sound bad, but he really is a good guy. And even though he bitches about it, he doesn't want to be paid back. He doesn't do stuff to get a reward. You should know that by now." He grinned when he saw Hakkai's brows go up slightly, as if he'd just had some great truth revealed to him. "So don't worry so much about Sanzo, ok? If he gets mad, he'll have to get mad at both of us." He stretched forward, and kissed Hakkai again, this time on the lips, and he smiled against the other's mouth, only to sober a few seconds later when he sensed the continued conflict in the brunet's aura despite the way Hakkai's arousal continued to grow. "Don't you like what I'm doing?" he asked quietly.

Hakkai was grateful for the brief reprieve. Goku's touches were like fire against his skin, and while he was fairly certain that the younger male had no idea, he was precariously close to release. It had been a very long time since anyone had touched him with such consideration, but beyond that, being restrained was something of a turn on for him - a definite kink he was sure Goku couldn't have known about. He licked his lips, and keeping his eyes closed so that the other wouldn't see just _how_ aroused he was, he murmured, "It's not that, Goku. I just don't deserve -"

Goku sighed softly. He knew Hakkai had done some bad things, but they _all_ had. He sometimes couldn't understand the brunet's line of thinking, no matter how hard he tried, and cutting the other off, he told the healer as much. "Why? If I want to, and you want to, why can't you? You're not the bad person you think you are, Hakkai. Not by a long shot." He leaned down and kissed the thicker, denser flesh of the taijiya's scar, pleased when he felt the small shiver run through the other male. Encouraged, he stripped off his own t-shirt, pressing his warm flesh against the older man's as he gave him a quasi-embrace. "It's ok for you to want things and have them. Besides, the other person is the one who decides if you deserve." He nodded to emphasize his point, and giving Hakkai a warm smile, he turned his attention to removing the brunet's bottoms. He _did_ groan slightly when he saw the impressive erection and scented his arousal, and he gave in to the temptation to give the tip a small flick with his tongue, much like he'd seen done in Gojyo's magazines. He didn't know what he'd been expecting, but the taste wasn't like anything he'd experienced before - and he found he liked it. He went for a more thorough lick, though he stopped when he heard the strangled cry from the healer. "Did I hurt you?" he asked anxiously.

Hakkai shook his head. Truth be told, it felt wonderful, but he couldn't permit it, no matter how much he wanted to. "I'm sorry, Goku. I just..." He let out a small, misplaced laugh, his expression rather miserable despite the bright gleam of arousal in his eyes.

"Holy shit," Goku breathed, and as he looked at the brunet, he finally understood. Hakkai wanted. But he was too human to let himself _have_ , and instead he chose to punish himself. In Goku's opinion, it was a stupid way to live - if one could actually call that 'living'. He decided that he needed to proceed with his plan. He just hoped he would help Hakkai see that this was ok and not make things worse. Slowly, he stretched himself out alongside the healer and after kicking off his own boxer shorts, he pressed himself against the other, trying to offer him some comfort through the contact. Hakkai seemed to like being touched, even if he never asked to cuddle. "Like I said before, it's ok. I'll show you." He traced random patterns along the brunet's side, and after a few moments, his hand began to wander, teasing over Hakkai's scar, and then trailing up his chest and along the cord in his neck to his jaw. After studying the contours of the pretty face for several seconds, he moved his hand toward Hakkai's limiters. Goku had barely touched Hakkai's left ear when he heard a sharp, panicked sounding gasp. A slight frown creasing his brow, he shifted his gaze upwards to meet frantic green. Before he could form the words to ask what was wrong, he heard the soft, almost plaintive whisper: _Don't. Please._ He gave the brunet his most reassuring smile. "It's ok, Hakkai," he repeated, his voice equally soft and slightly deeper thanks to the husky tinge of arousal. "I'm not scared of you like that. You're awesome, but not scary. Not anymore. Besides, I really want to see you. The _real_ you. Even if it's just for a little bit."

"Goku, I'm serious," Hakkai pressed as he tugged at his restraints, his voice becoming a bit more urgent when he realized that the younger wasn't backing down. "I could hurt you very badly again. Kill you even!"

"I know you could," Goku replied, and he licked along the centre of Hakkai's chest, drawing out another one of those shivers from the brunet. He really did like the way the other's skin tasted; hell, he liked _everything_ about him! He peeked up at the healer through slightly fanned lashes, and he smiled again. "But you won't. I trust you. Maybe you should try trusting yourself, too... _Sensei_." He grinned wider when he heard the soft, slightly aroused gasp the other gave on hearing the title. "Don't be afraid of him. It's like with me. You just need someone to care for that part of you. Maybe he just wants to be loved and not feared." With that, he pulled off all three of Hakkai's limiters before the other could argue further and he set them on the nightstand, returning to his previous task of worshipping the taijiya's chest with his lips, teeth and tongue while Hakkai's body changed. After a moment, he sat up a little, marvelling at the way the vine markings snaked around the pale skin as if they were alive, and he wasn't at all surprised to see that they really did cover _everywhere_. "Holy shit," he breathed, and the quickening he felt in his pulse was truly a thrill of anticipation and not fear - even as he looked into those dark, sadistic, mismatched eyes.

"Hn." An amused smirk curved Hakkai's lips upward, revealing the elongated canines, and with his enhanced speed, he hooked a leg around one of Goku's and flipped them over, using the momentum and his superior strength to pull the manacles taut. A few seconds later, the bracelets snapped open, the force from Hakkai's vines sufficient to break the locks. The smirk widened as the brunet's arms encircled Goku in what felt like a tight embrace, and as claws pressed into the flesh of the younger's sides and feathery vines slid around the toned, muscular body to hold him close against him, the youkai murmured, "You're a fool for setting me free like this."

"I've been called worse," Goku murmured affectionately, a slight hiss escaping him as the long, sharp talons sunk deeper into his flesh. He gasped softly as he felt the delicate fronds wrap around his body, effectively immobilizing him beneath the youkai, and his eyes hooded and his lips parted with a wanton sigh when he felt the press of the brunet's cock against his thigh. He felt his pulse quicken, and his cheeks heated in a flush of arousal with the knowledge that he'd been right. Hakkai _did_ want him, too. Emboldened by this, he arched up as best as he could and teasingly licked the tip of Hakkai's chin before brushing a kiss against it. "And I meant what I said; I'm not afraid of you," he murmured, his golden eyes dark with want as he writhed against the soft, deceptively strong bindings.

Hakkai looked down at him for a moment, and then he closed his eyes while he sniffed the air. A brow arched slightly then, before he frowned. The younger demon was telling the truth. He could sense Goku's rapid pulse and shallow breathing, but the pheromones that he scented were those of arousal and not fear. "Hn." He pressed in harder with his claws, watching for any sign of trepidation from the cinnamon-haired male, but when he instead received another strangled groan of desire, the frown returned. "You're either an idiot or a masochist," Hakkai muttered even as he leaned down and dragged his keen teeth along Goku's pulse point, his actions quickly marring the smooth skin there. He worked his mark for several seconds, and when he could finally taste blood, he briefly dragged his tongue over the wound to taste the salty, coppery tang before he pulled away to soundly bite on his collarbone. A sound somewhere between a contented purr and a dark growl rumbled low in Hakkai's throat, and as he added a second bite, he held tighter to the smaller male, his hold almost painfully possessive as he savoured the other's presence in his arms. The quiet whimpers Goku was making further fuelled the brunet's own lust, and before long, he'd pulled his claws free in order to wrap his long fingers around Goku's wrists while he shifted his body to where the head of his cock was pressing almost insistently against the other's hole. "And this is what you want, is it?" the brunet demanded before crushing his crimson-stained lips to Goku's to give him a deep, hungry kiss. The embrace was desperate and wanton, and tinged with unrestrained passion, the emotion obvious despite the lack of any verbal indications.

When Hakkai finally broke away, Goku was left breathless and panting and achingly hard. He swallowed thickly, and then licked his lips, trying to commit the brunet's taste to memory. After taking a minute to recover, he grinned up at the demon even as a tinge of pink highlighted his cheeks. "Well, um...in my dreams, I was the one on top, but uh...since I've never actually done it before, I don't mind if you want to do me instead." That idea certainly had merit - his body already ached (but in a good way!) from Hakkai's manhandling of him, something he'd had no idea he'd enjoy so thoroughly. He could only imagine what condition he'd be in by the time the youkai was finished with him, and he knew that if it looked too bad, he'd have the soothing warmth of Hakkai's chi to look forward to.

"Did you now?" Hakkai quipped somewhat acerbically.

Goku wasn't offended by the remark. He knew it was the nature of the beast, so to speak, and if the brunet truly had been annoyed by his comment, he'd have paid for it by now - tolerance was really _not_ the taijiya's strong suit in his true form. "Mmhmm. But I just want to be with _you_ , Hakkai. No matter _what_ we do."

That subtle brow arch returned as the mismatched eyes peered intently down into gold. "Hn." He stared at him for a moment longer, and then without another word, he reached for his limiters.

"Wait! You don't have to - I mean, I like you like this. Unless you really don't want to...you know..." He trailed off then with as much of a shrug as he could muster, feeling slightly dejected. If Hakkai put his limiters back on, he'd go back to being restrained. Logical. Worried. "Never mind," he murmured, trying to keep the disappointment from his voice and not sound like a petulant child. After all, he realized somewhat bitterly that it wasn't right for him to force the brunet if he really didn't want to. Before he could muse further on that, he felt a clawed hand insistently, yet relatively gently, grasp his chin and force his gaze upwards, and he gasped slightly.

"If I don't, I'm going to fight you for control every step of the way." Hakkai glanced askance from the other in a gesture of token acquiescence, and while the darkness remained, the malevolence was gone from his gaze. It was probably the closest thing to 'showing kindness' he had ever demonstrated while in that form. His lips curved down a little further. "Maybe later, when you have more experience, we can fight for control. But not for your first time." Still not meeting the gold eyes, he looked down at the three silver clips in his palm. "The vines will wither quickly once I'm no longer actively controlling them. You should be able to get free then." With that, he slipped the ear cuffs back on and gritted his teeth against the transformation. In his opinion, it was always worse going back; he always felt like he was being stuffed into a body that was two or three sizes too small.

As Hakkai had said, it wasn't long before Goku was able to break free of his bindings, and his expression was sympathetic when he heard Hakkai's pained growl - he knew exactly how it felt to go back. Once he had managed to release a hand, he lightly petted through the dark chocolate tresses, amazed by how soft and silky they felt. Moments later, he was leaning up to once again kiss Hakkai - something he already knew he'd never tire of doing - and he moaned softly when the other man kissed him back. Hakkai's tongue was supple and oh-so talented, and yet he let Goku control the embrace, following along with what the younger male wanted, but never resisting or pushing for more. Eventually, Goku decided he wanted more, and he cupped the back of the healer's head as he deepened the kiss, arching his body upwards and turning to bring Hakkai down to rest against the pillows. He kissed along his throat and along the slender collarbone, and then broke away to look into the bright green eyes. "Um...what's the best way? I don't want to hurt you, even by accident, if I do something wrong."

Hakkai chuckled softly at that. "Believe me, Goku, you're not going to hurt me. And even if you _did_ , I'd probably like it anyway." He smirked a little; some of his tastes truly did tend towards the more _unusual_. "And trust me; you're not going to do anything wrong. But the easiest way for you would probably be from behind."

Goku nodded. "Ok, that way, then." He gave Hakkai one more quick kiss, and then he manoeuvred him into position - with a bit of help from the brunet. He licked his suddenly dry lips as he let his eyes rove over the bare form, and he exhaled a shaky breath as he squeezed the base of his own cock in an attempt to calm himself some. After a moment, he asked, "Uh, do you need me to, um...I-I have some of that hand lotion you gave me in my bag."

Hakkai smiled as he peered at the other from over his shoulder. "Honestly, it won't take much, but a little bit would probably make it a little more comfortable for us both."

"'kay," Goku whispered, and he slid off the bed to retrieve the cream, shaking off the last few vine tendrils that clung to his limbs as he did so. Returning with the tube, he moved behind Hakkai and eased him up more onto his hands and knees. Breathing slowly and deliberately, Goku squeezed a bit of lotion onto his fingertips, and after giving it a moment to warm slightly, he lightly traced around the taut ring of muscle, and then moved his fingers to press two of them inside. He first gasped, and then groaned when the digits sunk easily and completely into Hakkai's body and he felt the tight passage surround them. As he gave a few shallow, cursory strokes with his fingers, he found that all he could think about was having his cock there and thrusting deeply into that exquisite heat. "Oh shit, Hakkai," he breathed, another low groan tumbling from his lips as a fresh wave of precome leaked from the tip of his dick.

The healer chuckled softly, and he deliberately clenched his muscles around the invading digits, a mischievous smirk curving his lips upward when he heard Goku inhale sharply. "Mmm. If you're ready, Goku?" He arched his body forward, the movement sufficient to draw the younger male's fingers from his ass, and he turned slightly then, taking up the tube of lotion and putting a bit on his fingers. "Please, allow me," he murmured, and with that, he wrapped an elegant hand around Goku's erection and with long, deliberate movements, he coated the turgid flesh with the cream. Again, he gave an impish smile when he heard the soft, wanton cry, and letting his lashes fan along his cheeks, he gazed coquettishly at Goku for a moment before he turned and readied himself.

"Oh, gods." Goku licked his lips once more, and then shifted up onto his knees, unable to hold back any longer. He almost reverently let his fingertips run along Hakkai's spine, and then he grasped the slender hip, using his free hand to guide himself into position. Carefully, he pressed against the healer's hole, and he tried to keep his entrance slow, but when he felt that tight heat gripping his dick, all self-restraint was lost, and with a quick snap of hips, he buried himself balls deep in the brunet's ass, waiting but a fraction of a second before withdrawing nearly completely and thrusting back in hard and deep.

Hakkai hadn't been expecting the sudden, harsh movements, and the first one caught him slightly off guard, but he quickly adapted to Goku's frenetic rhythm. The younger male's cock wasn't as long as his, but it was thick and full, and as the healer shifted his position just a little to open himself up further, he was soon groaning softly with want. "Harder, Goku, please," he murmured, and as the cinnamon-haired male's dick thrust in deeper to flirt with his prostate, Hakkai could feel tiny lightning bolts of pleasure sparking through him and pooling low in his belly.

Both of Goku's hands were now on Hakkai's hips, his own a blur as he pistoned into the other's ass. He cried out softly when the brunet clenched around him, and small starbursts exploded behind his closed eyelids. He felt as if he was floating, and his head felt dizzyingly euphoric as he sped towards his imminent release. He couldn't remember ever feeling anything this good, and as he thrust deeper still, he tensed suddenly as his orgasm unexpectedly tore through him, wrenching a plaintive cry of completion from his throat as he came hard and fast deep inside of the other.

Hakkai loosed a lustful mewl when he felt the heat of Goku's release warming him, and while the younger demon rode out his climax, he wrapped a hand around his own aching cock and began to pump with long, hard, full strokes in an effort to bring himself quickly over the edge, too. When he finally came, his seed pulsing in warm ribbons over his fist, he smiled to himself when heard the soft intake of breath from behind him as his body tensed around the other's still semi-rigid dick. When he'd recovered, Hakkai slipped himself free from Goku's embrace and turned slightly, bringing Goku to rest beside him on the bed. He gave a contented sigh, and then shifted a bit closer to the younger demon, and to the warmth his body provided.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want it to be so fast." Goku smiled a little when he felt the brunet press his index finger against his lips to silence him before leaning more into him, and in turn, Goku wrapped his arms around the other in a comforting embrace. His smile widened when the action caused Hakkai to move even closer. For a few seconds, he listened to the slightly faster breathing, and he waited for it to even out before he asked, "Ne, Hakkai? Are you...ok? I mean, not just about this, but do you feel ok?"

The brunet lifted his head then, and giving Goku a soft smile in return, he mimicked the gentle caress to a cheek that he'd received earlier. "I'm ok, Goku." He worried his lower lip with his teeth for a moment before he continued. "And you - you were absolutely right before in what you said. Though you do have a hell of a way of making a point. A bit extreme, some might say." He chuckled softly then and kissed the tip of Goku's nose. "But, it's a known fact that teachers make the worst students. Much in the same way that doctors are the worst patients." He sobered then, and idly ran the tip of his tongue over his upper teeth in contemplation before he revisited his earlier question. "Are you sure that this is what you want?" He smiled a little when he saw the immediate nod in the affirmative. "I'm not an easy person to be with. I have a lot of _issues_ , and it's not going to be easy."

"Nothing worth having ever is," Goku replied, stifling a yawn as he did so. "Quit trying to make me change my mind," he added in an attempt at scolding. "So you're not perfect, Hakkai. So what? No one is. I just know what I want. Is that bad?"

Hakkai considered that for a moment, and then finally, he shook his head. "No, Goku. It's not bad. It's just...it's going to take some getting used to. Having someone feel that way. About me."

"Well, you'd better get used to it," Goku stated, and he winked at the other. "Will you stay here, like this? With me?"

Hakkai laughed softly. "For a while. I'm going to have to insist on a shower before too much longer, though."

"Good. And you can always come back, you know. When you're done. I'd like that a lot."

Hakkai's expression softened considerably at that, and in turn, he wrapped his arms around the other. He lightly caressed through the thick tangle of hair nestled against his chest, and again, he chuckled - this time to himself. He still wasn't entirely convinced that Sanzo wouldn't shoot the both of them when he found out about what had happened, and what would happen in the future. That mischievous smirk returned, and this time, there was a definite glint of amusement in his eyes. Still, some of his happiest moments had come about as a result of some degree of bad judgement on his part. His hand stilled in the unruly tresses, and as he glanced down at the contented expression on Goku's face, he realized, with some surprise, that he, too, felt completely at ease. 

Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all. And even if it was, at least he wouldn't go down alone. Of that, he was certain.


End file.
